I would like you to read the following. This is the Creed of the Kindred, and I originally wrote it for the Order of Maidenfear. But it's something that's meant to be shared with vampires of all persuasions.

I am vampire.

I kneel before no other creature. I am an intelligent animal who has retained my animal intelligence.

This flesh of mine is a gift in which I revel passion and ecstasy, but my lot in the convoluted universal matrix is to exist as a creature of energy. I thrive on the energy of the cosmos around me. That energy exists in many forms. It exists in lifeblood, in psychic forces, in the angry hurling of lightningbolts from cloud to cloud.

This diversity manifests on the earth in the many different and legitimate breeds of vampire which share the world with mortal humans. Knowing my lineage, I seek to mate my personal energy with that of magic and nature as a vital part of my existence. Pounding surf, rustling crisp leaves, magical ritual-all of these empower me, and I take what is offered or what I have made for myself.

As a vampire, I am a natural being part of the natural universe. I am not confined to this plane or this dimension. I am a cosmic being of fluctuating energy. The matter that makes my flesh and flows through my body drifted down from the stars over millennia. My sight and my vision are necessarily wider and broader. Life, death, what are these to me? They dance as close as hungry lovers. This is no two-sided mortal coin but one great continuum.

The impetus of eternity, then, is the power of the vampire. It is my power, and I claim that power for myself.

Or in other words, the power is yours. You don't need someone else to give it to you. This is where the Vampnots enter.

This may come as a huge shock to you. I mean it. I'm talking a surprise of seismic proportions here. But hey, I have to tell you. It's just too important for me to omit. Are you ready? Breathe deep now. Here it comes. Don't write in telling me I didn't warn you. This is it.

You can't trust everybody you meet in the vampire community.

Yes, I was kidding. Of course you already know this. I'm sure you've experienced the delightful hypocrisy and delusion that are also part of the vampire community for yourself. But I want to make a point and address the matter here, because I believe it's an important issue, especially when we're speaking of newcomers to the community who may fall prey to pretty words and well-woven doctrines.

Can you trust me? I can't answer that. You'll have to decide for yourself.

These are my Vampnots, collected over my years in the vampire community. You could call them travel advisories for the vampiric world. Some may seem to be common sense, but has been said, common sense is not so common. I certainly don't want to see any of you end up in a bad place when maybe a few words from me might have kept you safe. Remember that no path is sound for a fool.

A real, true, honest vampire will never offer to turn, make, or awaken you. Even if you ask a vampire to give you your own vampire being, you'll hopefully be brushed off like a bug. I say hopefully, because there lurks unscrupulous individuals just versed enough in the vampire community to lure you in with promises of becoming a vampire. This is how you can lose lots of money if you're lucky, and even your life if you're not so lucky. Please tread carefully.

Stay away from groups that demand allegiance to anyone but yourself. I don't mean you can't give your allegiance if it's your choice and you want to. I mean when absolute and unquestioning obedience to a group (or worse--to individuals in the group) are requirements for membership, you may want to think twice. Vampires are fundamentally independent beings. Ideally we owe nothing to anyone but ourselves, even should we choose further involvement. It's my conviction that anyone who doesn't recognize this fundamental trait is somehow missing something essential in vampirism.

In connection with the above commentary, I suggest you run any group you are thinking of joining through the Advanced Bonewits Cult Danger Evaluation Frame. This is the best test of its kind I've found.

Vampirism is not a fetish. Well, okay, maybe sometimes people will play vampire as part of sexual fantasies. But that is not what I'm talking about here. We vampires don't mean to imply a bloody good time in the bedroom (or wherever).

Watch out for outlandish claims. For instance, someone who claims to drink an eight ounce glass of human blood five times a day is either pulling your leg or robbing a bloodbank. Myself, I'd hope they were lying. My other favorite is, "I'm a full-blooded vampire". That's nice. So they didn't come from the SPCA? Is it like leaded or unleaded gasoline?

My friend Phobos has had a philosophy regarding anyone claiming to be immortal. "Let them prove it." No one yet has been willing to jump off the roof of Saturn House to demonstrate their immortality. Until we actually see it, we're going to stick to the knowledge that we are mortal...physically anyway. Nobody's debating the idea of reincarnation (what I call serial immortality) or the idea that so long as you're living, you don't really know you're going to die except from the buzzkills around you.

There are no demon wars raging, at least not on any plane of reality I've been able to survey. I wish this blurred line between live action role playing games and real vampirism would go away.

Corsets, capes, dental-quality fangs, red talon fingernails--ladies and gentlemen, these are not what makes a vampire. Have you ever tried to frost a cake without having a cake? You end up with a mess of frosting. What you do with your outside doesn't make you any more or less of a vampire. Constrict your waist to sixteen inches or get "SANG" tattooed on your schlong--you're not a greater vampire than the person standing next to you in sweats and workboots.

You might also want to consider the following.

No one is going to teach you a rote form of vampirism. You must learn it through your own experiences.

Learn what you can. Choose what does and does not suit you.

You will not be made an immortal.

You will not grow overlarge canine teeth (fangs).

You do not need to sleep in a coffin (unless you want to).

You're not going to suddenly possess any kind of super powers, unless you count the ability to play with energy which in and of itself might be considered a super power.

You're not going to be immune from disease, although you may find yourself becoming a stronger person physically as well as mentally.

Walking in the steps of the vampire is not going to give you instant sex appeal or improve your social status. These are things mostly empowered by personality.

You will most likely feel more in control of yourself and your surroundings.

You may experience a dramatic increase in confidence.

You may come to understand how thought becomes deed in very real terms.

As vampires go, we are very much real. Hold this thought fast to your heart, because doubtless you will encounter cynics and scoffers. They don't matter. You know the truth.